按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
〃I am。 It's hard to explain; but I am not here…at least; the rest of me is not。〃 He considered telling her more; but was hesitant to open himself pletely even to this melancholy; harmless…seeming spirit。 〃Why are you here?〃
〃I wait。〃 Maegwin's voice was regretful。 〃I do not know who or what I am waiting for。 But I know that is what I do。〃
For a time the two of them did not speak。 The valley shimmered below; pellucid as mist。
〃It all seems so far away;〃 Simon said at last。 〃All the things that seemed so important。〃
〃If you listen;〃 Maegwin replied; 〃you can hear the music。〃
Simon listened; but heard absolutely nothing。 That in itself was astonishing; and for a moment he was overwhelmed。 There was nothing at all…no wind; no bird…song; no soft babble of voices; not even the muffled bumping of his own heart。 He had never imagined a quiet so absolute; a peace so deep。 After all the madness and uproar of his life; he seemed to have e to the still center of things。
〃I fear this place a little;〃 he said。 〃I'm afraid that if I stay here too long; I won't even want to go back to my life。〃
He could feel Maegwin's surprise。 〃Your life? Are you not already long dead? When you came to me before; I thought you must be an ancient hero。〃 She made an unhappy sound。 〃What have I done? Could it be that you did not know you were dead?〃
〃Dead?〃 Shock and fury and more than a little terror surged through him。 〃I'm not dead! I'm still alive; I just can't get back。 I'm alive!〃
〃Then what are you doing here with me?〃 There was something very strange in her voice。
〃I don't know。 But I'm alive!〃 And although he said it in part to bat his own sudden apprehension; he felt it; too…ties that had grown weak but were nevertheless quite real still bound him to the waking world and his lost body。
〃But surely only the dead e here? Only the dead; like me?〃
〃No。 The dead go on。〃 Simon thought of Leieth flying free and knew he spoke truly。 〃This is a waiting place…a between…place。 The dead go on。〃
〃But how can that be; when I 。。。〃 Maegwin suddenly fell silent。
Simon's frightened anger did not dissipate; but he felt the flame of his life still inside him; a flame that had dimmed but had not yet blown out; and he was forted。 He knew he was alive。 That was all he had to cling to; but it was everything。
He felt something strange beside him。 Maegwin was crying; not in sounds; but in great shuddering movements that caused her entire being to waver and almost dissipate; like breeze…stirred smoke。
〃What's wrong?〃 As odd and unsettling as all this was; he did not want to lose her; but she had bee alarmingly insubstantial。 Even the light she bore seemed to have grown fainter。 〃Maegwin? Why are you crying?〃
〃I have been such a fool;〃 she keened。 〃Such a fool!〃
〃What do you mean?〃 He tried to reach out to her; to take her hand; but the two of them could not touch。 Simon looked down and saw nothing where his body should be。 It was odd; but in this dreamlike place it did not seem as terrifying as it might have elsewhere。 He wondered how he looked to Maegwin。 〃Why have you been a fool?〃
〃Because I thought I knew all。 Because I thought even the gods waited to see what I would do。〃
〃I don't understand。〃
For a long time she did not reply。 He felt her sorrow flow through him in great gusts; angry and mournful in turn。 〃I will explain…but first tell me who you are; how you came to be in this place。 Oh; the gods; the gods!〃 Her sorrow threatened to sweep her away again。 〃I have made too many assumptions。 Far; far too many。〃
Simon did as she asked; starting slowly and hesitantly at first; then gaining confidence as bit by bit his past returned to him。 He was surprised to find that he could remember names which only a little while before had been misty holes in his memory。
Maegwin did not interrupt; but as his recitation went on she became slightly more substantial。 He could see her clearly again; her bright; wounded eyes; her lips pressed together tightly as though to keep them from trembling。 He wondered who had loved her; for certainly she was a woman someone could love。 Who mourned for her?
When he spoke of Sesuad'ra; and of Count Eolair's mission from Hernysadharc; she broke her silence for the first time; asking him to tell more of the count and what he had said。
As Simon described Aditu; and what the Sitha…woman had said about the Dawn Children riding to Hernystir; Maegwin again began to weep。
〃Mircha clothed in rain! It is as I feared。 I have almost destroyed my people with my madness。 I did not die!〃
〃I don't understand。〃 Simon leaned a little closer; basking in the warmth of her glow。 It made the strange ghostly landscape a little less empty。 〃You didn't die?〃
The shadow…woman began to speak of her own life。 Simon realized with dawning amazement that he did indeed know of her; although they had never met: she was Lluth's daughter; sister of Gwythinn the Hernystirman Simon had seen at Josua's councils in Naglimund。
The story she told; and then the further tale of dreams and misunderstandings and accidents that she and Simon pieced together from fragments and guesses; was terrible indeed。 Simon; who had spent much of his time on the wheel in a fury of self…pity; found himself sickened by Magwin's losses…her father; her brother; her very home and country taken from her in a way that even he; for all his sorrows; had not experienced。 And the cruel tricks that fate; with Simon's unwitting help; had played on her!
No wonder she had lost her wits and imagined herself dead。 He ached for her。
When Maegwin had finished; the phantom valley again fell into total silence。
〃But why are you here?〃 Simon finally asked。
〃I do not know。 I was not led here; like you。 But after I touched the mind of the thing in what I thought was Scadach…in Naglimund; if that is where it was…I was nowhere at all for a time。 Then I awoke to this place; this land; and knew I was waiting。〃 She paused。 〃Perhaps it was you I was meant to wait for。〃
〃But why?〃
〃I do not know。 But it seems we fight the same fight…or rather we did fight it; since I see no way that either of us will leave this place。〃
Simon waited and thought。 〃That thing 。。。 that thing at Naglimund。 What was it like? What did 。。。 what did you feel when you touched its thoughts?〃
Maegwin struggled to find a way to explain。 〃It 。。。 it burned。 Being so near to it was like putting my face in the door of a kiln…I feared it would scorch away my very being。 I did not sense words; as I do from you; but 。。。 ideas。 Hatred; as I told you…a hatred of the living。 And a longing for death; for release; which was almost as strong as the longing for revenge。〃 She made a sad noise。 For a moment her light dimmed。 〃That was when I was first troubled about my own thoughts; for I felt that longing for death; too…and if I was already dead; how could I desire to be released from life?〃 She laughed; a bittersweet sensation that pricked at Simon's being。 〃Mircha shelter me! Listen to us! Even after all that has passed; this is a madness beyond all understanding; dear stranger。 That you and I should be in this place; this moiheneg〃 she used a Hernystiri word or thought that Simon did not understand; 〃talking of our lives; although we do not even know whether we still live。〃
〃We have stepped out of the world;〃 Simon told her; and suddenly everything seemed different。 He felt a sort of calm descend upon him。 〃Perhaps we've been given a gift。 For a time; we've been allowed to step outside the world。 A time to rest。〃 Indeed; he felt more like himself than he had since he had fallen through the earth of John's barrow。 Meeting Maegwin had done much to make him feel like a living thing again。
〃A time to rest? Perhaps for you; Simon…and if that is so; I am happy for you。 But I can only look on the foolishness I made of my life and mourn。〃
〃Was there anything else you learned from 。。。 from the burning thing?〃 He was anxious to distract her。 Her sorrow over her mistakes seemed only barely contained; and he feared that if it overwhelmed her he would find himself alone again。
Maegwin shimm