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f King Wisdom conferring with a yellowish Elderling。 A branch of candles on the mantel。 It had scarcely changed in the years I had lived here from the first night I had moved into it。 It was a bare and dreary room�察�devoid of imagination。 Suddenly I was a bare and dreary person�察�devoid of imagination。 I fetched and I hunted and I killed。 I obeyed。 More hound than man。 And not even a favored hound�察�to be petted and praised。 One of the working pack。 When was the last time I had heard from Shrewd�拭�Or Chade。 Even the Fool mocked me。 What was I�察�anymore�察�to anyone�察�except a tool�拭�Was there anyone left who cared for me�察�myself�拭�Suddenly I could no longer abide my own pany。 I set down the scroll I had picked up and left my room。
When I knocked at the door of Patience's room�察�there was a pause。 ;Who is it�拭─�came Lacey's voice。
;Only FitzChivalry。;
;FitzChivalry� ─�A bit of surprise in the tone。 It was late for a visit from me。 Usually I came during the day。 Then I was forted to hear the sound of a bar being removed�察�and a latch worked。 She had paid attention to what I had told her�察�I thought。 The door opened slowly and Lacey stepped back to admit me�察�smiling dubiously。
I stepped in�察�greeting Lacey warmly�察�and then glanced about for Patience。 She was in the other chamber�察�I surmised。 But in a corner�察�eyes lowered over needlework�察�sat Molly。 She did not look up at me or acknowledge my presence at all。 Her hair was tidied back in a bun under a lacy little cap。 On another woman�察�her blue dress might have been simple and modest。 On Molly it was drab。 Her eyes stayed down on her work。 I glanced at Lacey to find her regarding me levelly。 I looked at Molly again and something inside me gave way。 It took me four steps to cross the room to her。 I knelt beside her chair and as she drew back from me�察�I seized her hand and carried it to my lips。
;FitzChivalry� ─�Patience's voice behind me was outraged。 I glanced at her framed in the doorway。 Her lips were set flat in anger。 I turned away from her。
Molly had turned her face aside from me。 I held her hand and spoke quietly。 ;I cannot go on like this anymore。 No matter how�察�foolish�察�no matter how dangerous�察�no matter what any other may think。 I cannot be always apart from you。;
She pulled her hand away from me�察�and I let it go not to hurt her fingers。 But I grasped at her skirt and clutched a fold of it like a stubborn child。 ;At least speak to me�察─�I begged her�察�but it was Patience who spoke。
;FitzChivalry�察�this is not seemly。 Stop it at once。;
;It was not seemly�察�nor wise�察�nor appropriate for my father to court you as he did�察�either。 But he did not hesitate。 I suspect he felt much as I do right now。; I did not look away from Molly。
That won me a moment of startled silence from Patience。 But it was Molly who set aside her needlework and rose。 She stepped away�察�and when it became clear that I must let go or tear the fabric of her skirt�察�I released it。 She stepped clear of me。 ;If my lady Patience will excuse me for the evening�拭�
;Certainly�察─�Patience replied�察�but her voice was not at all certain。
;If you go away�察�there is nothing for me。; I knew I sounded too dramatic。 I was still on my knees by her chair。
;If I stay�察�there is still nothing for you。; Molly spoke levelly as she took off her apron and hung it on a hook。 ;I am a serving girl。 You are a young noble�察�of the royal family。 There can never be anything between us。 I've e to see that�察�over the last few weeks。;
;No。; I rose and stepped toward her�察�but forbore to touch her。 ;You are Molly and I am Newboy。;
;Maybe。 Once�察─�Molly conceded。 Then she sighed。 ;But not now。 Do not make this harder for me than it is�察�sir。 You must leave me in peace。 I have nowhere else to go�察�I must stay here and work�察�at least until I earn enough 。。。。; She shook her head suddenly。 ;Good evening�察�my lady。 Lacey。 Sir。; She turned aside from me。 Lacey stood silently。 I noticed she did not open the door for Molly�察�but Molly did not pause there。 The door shut very firmly behind her。 A terrible silence welled up in the room。
;Well�察─�Patience breathed at last。 ;I am glad to see that at least one of you has some sense。 What on earth were you thinking�察�FitzChivalry�察�to barge in here and all but attack my maid�拭�
;I was thinking that I loved her�察─�I said bluntly。 I dropped into a chair and put my head into my hands。 ;I was thinking that I am very weary of being so alone。;
;That is why you came here�拭─�Patience sounded almost offended。
;No。 I came here to see you。 I did not know she would be here。 But when I saw her�察�it just came over me。 It's true�察�Patience。 I cannot go on like this。;
;Well�察�you'd better�察�because you're going to have to。; The words were hard�察�but she sighed as she said them。
;Does Molly speak of it 。。。 of me�拭�To you。 I must know。 Please。; I battered at their silence and exchanged looks。 ;Does she truly wish me to leave her alone�拭�Have I bee so despised of her�拭�Have I not done all you demanded of me�拭�I have waited�察�Patience。 I have avoided her�察�I have taken care not to cause talk。 But when is an end to it�拭�Or is this your plan�拭�To keep us apart until we forget each other�拭�It cannot work。 I am not a babe�察�and this is not some bauble you hide from me�察�to distract me with other toys。 This is Molly。 And she is my heart and I will not let her go。;
;I am afraid you must。; Patience said the words heavily。
;Why�拭�Has she chosen another�拭�
Patience batted my words away as if they were flies。 ;No。 She is not fickle�察�not that one。 She is smart and diligent and full of wit and spirit。 I can see how you lost your heart to her。 But she also has pride。 She has e to see what you refuse。 That you e�察�each of you�察�from places so far apart that there can be no meeting in the middle。 Even were Shrewd to consent to a marriage�察�which I very much doubt�察�how would you live�拭�You cannot leave the Keep�察�to go down to Buckkeep Town and work in a candle shop。 You know you cannot。 And what status would she enjoy if you kept her here�拭�Despite her goodness�察�people who did not know her well would see only the differences in your rank。 She would be seen as a low appetite you had indulged。 `Oh�察�the Bastard�察�he had an eye for his stepmother's maid。 I fancy he caught her around the corner one time too many�察�and now he has to pay the piper。' You know the kind of talk I mean。;
I did。 ;I don't care what folk would say。;
;Perhaps you could endure it。 But what of Molly�拭�What of your children�拭�
I was silent。 Patience looked down at her hands idle in her lap。 ;You are young�察�FitzChivalry。; She spoke very quietly�察�very soothingly。 ;I know you do not believe it now。 But�察�you may meet another。 One closer to your station。 And she may also。 Maybe she deserves that chance at happiness。 Perhaps you should draw back。 Give yourself a year or so。 And if your heart has not changed by then�察�well 。。。;
;My heart will not change。;
;Nor will hers�察�I fear。; Patience spoke bluntly。 ;She cared for you�察�Fitz。 Not knowing who you really were�察�she gave her heart to you。 She has said as much。 I do not wish to betray her confidences to me�察�but if you do as she asks and leave her alone�察�she can never tell you herself。 So I will speak�察�and hope you hold me harmless for the pain I must give you。 She knows this can never be。 She does not want to be a servant marrying a noble。 She does not want her children to be the daughters and sons of a Keep servant。 So she saves the little I am able to pay her。 She buys her wax and her scents�察�and works still at her trade�察�as best as she is able。 She means to save enough�察�somehow�察�to begin again�察�with her own chandlery。 It will not be soon。 But that is her goal。; Patience paused。 ;She sees no place in that life for you。;
I sat a long time�察�thinking。 Neither Lacey nor Patience spoke。 Lacey moved slowly through our stillness�察�brewing tea。 She pushed a cup of it into my hand。 I lifted my eyes and tried to smile at her。 I set the tea carefully aside。 ;Did you know�察�from the beginning�察�that it would e to this�拭─�I asked。
;I feared it�察─�Patience said simply。 ;But I also knew