按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
well。
I have never known a place in which it is so easy to be good。 I have
not said a word； nor scarcely harboured a thought； that was not lovely and
virtuous since I entered these gates； and yet there are those who think me
fantastic； difficult； hard to please； unreasonable！
I believe the saints must have lived in the country mostly （I am certain
they never tried Hydropathic hotels）； and why anybody with a black heart
and natural love of wickedness should not simply buy a poultry farm and
become an angel； I cannot understand。
Living with animals is really a very improving and wholesome kind of
life； to the person who will allow himself to be influenced by their sensible
and high…minded ideals。 When you come to think about it； man is really
the only animal that ever makes a fool of himself； the others are highly
civilised； and never make mistakes。 I am going to mention this when I
write to somebody； sometime； I mean if I ever do。 To be sure； our human
43
… Page 44…
The Diary of a Goose Girl
life is much more complicated than theirs； and I believe when the other
animals notice our errors of judgment they make allowances。 The bee is
as busy as a bee； and the beaver works like a beaver； but there their
responsibility ends。 The bee doesn't have to go about seeing that other
bees are not crowded into unsanitary tenements or victimised by the
sweating system。 When the beaver's day of toil is over he doesn't have to
discuss the sphere； the rights； or the voting privileges of beaveresses； all
he has to do is to work like a beaver； and that is comparatively simple。
44
… Page 45…
The Diary of a Goose Girl
CHAPTER XIII
I have been studying The Young Poultry Keeper's Friend of late。 If
there is anything I dislike and deplore； it is the possession of knowledge
which I cannot put to practical use。 Having discovered an interesting
disease called Scaly Leg in the July number； I took the magazine out into
the poultry…yard and identified the malady on three hens and a cock。
Phoebe joined me in the diagnosis and we treated the victims with a
carbolic lotion and scrubbed them with vaseline。
As Phoebe and I grow wise in medical lore the case of Cannibal Ann
assumes a different aspect。 As the bibulous man quaffs more and more
flagons of beer and wine when his daily food is ham； salt fish； and
cabbage； so does the hen avenge her wrongs of diet and woes of
environment。 Cannibal Ann； herself； has； so far as we know； been raised
in a Christian manner and enjoyed all the advantages of modern methods；
but her maternal parent may have lived in some heathen poultry…yard
which was asphalted or bricked or flagged； so that she was debarred from
scratching in Mother Earth and was forced to eat her own shells in self…
defence。
* * *
The Square Baby is not particularly attracted by the poultry as a whole；
save when it is boiled with bacon or roasted with bread… sauce； but he is
much interested in the 〃invaleeds。〃 Whenever Phoebe and I start for the
hospital with the tobacco…pills； the tin of paraffin； and the bottle of oil； he
is very much in evidence。 Perhaps he has a natural leaning toward the
medical profession； at any rate； when pain and anguish wring the brow； he
is in close attendance upon the ministering angels。
Now it is necessary for the physician to have practice as well as theory；
so the Square Baby； being left to himself this afternoon； proceeded to
perfect himself in some of the healing arts used by country practitioners。
When discovered； he was seated in front of the wire…covered 〃run〃
attached to a coop occupied by the youngest goslings。 A couple of
bottles and a box stood by his side； and I should think he had administered
45
… Page 46…
The Diary of a Goose Girl
a cup of sweet oil； a pint of paraffin； and a quarter of a pound of tobacco
during his clinic。 He had used the remedies impartially； sometimes
giving the paraffin internally and rubbing the patient's head with tobacco
or oil； sometimes the reverse。
Several goslings leaned languidly against the netting； or supported
themselves by the edge of the water…dish； while others staggered and
reeled about with eyes half closed。
It was Mrs。 Heaven who caught her son red…handed； so to speak。 She
was dressed in her best； and just driving off to Woodmucket to spend a day
or two with her married daughter； and soothe her nerves with the uproar
incident to a town of six hundred inhabitants。 She delayed her journey a
half…hourlong enough； in fact； to change her black silk waist for a loose
sacque which would give her arms full and comfortable play。 The joy
and astonishment that greeted the Square Baby on his advent； five years
ago； was forgotten for the first time in his brief life； and he was treated
precisely as any ordinary wrongdoer would have been treated under the
same circumstances； summarily and smartly； the 〃wepping；〃 as Phoebe
would say； being Mrs。 Heaven's hand。
All but one of the goslings lived； like thousands of others who recover
in spite of the doctors； but the Square Baby's interest in the healing art is
now perceptibly lessened。
46
… Page 47…
The Diary of a Goose Girl
CHAPTER XIV
July 18th。
The day was Friday； Phoebe's day to go to Buffington with eggs and
chickens and rabbits； her day to solicit orders for ducklings and goslings。
The village cart was ready in the stable； Mr。 and Mrs。 Heaven were in
Woodmucket； I was eating my breakfast （which I remember was an egg
and a rasher） when Phoebe came in； a figure of woe。
The Square Baby was ill； very ill； and would not permit her to leave
him and go to market。 Would I look at him？ For he must have dowsed
'imself as well as the goslings yesterday； anyways he was strong of
paraffin and tobacco； though he 'ad 'ad a good barth。
I prescribed for Albert Edward； who was as uncomfortable and
feverish as any little sinner in the county of Sussex； and I then promptly
proposed going to Buffington in Phoebe's place。
She did not think it at all proper； and said that； notwithstanding my
cotton gown and sailor hat； I looked quite； quite the lydy； and it would
never do。 〃I cannot get any new orders；〃 said I； 〃but I can certainly leave
the rabbits and eggs at the customary places。 I know Argent's Dining
Parlours； and Songhurst's Tea Rooms； and the Six Bells Inn； as well as you
do。〃
So； donning a pair of Phoebe's large white cotton gloves with open…
work wrists （than which I always fancy there is no one article that so
disguises the perfect lydy）； I set out upon my travels