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has become the strongest and handsomest of the brood。
All this tending of downy young things； this feeding and putting to bed；
this petting and nursing and rearing； is such pretty； comforting woman's
work。 I am sure Phoebe will make a better wife to the carrier for having
been a poultry…maid； and though good enough for most practical purposes
when I came here； I am an infinitely better woman now。 I am afraid I
was not particularly nice the last few days at the Hydro。 Such a lot of
dull； prosy； inquisitive； bothering old tabbies！ Aunt Margaret furnishing
imaginary symptoms enough to keep a fond husband and two trained
nurses distracted； a man I had never encouraged in my life coming to stay
in the neighbourhood and turning up daily for rejection； another man
taking rooms at the very hotel with the avowed purpose of making my life
a burden； and on the heels of both； a widow of thirty…five in full chase！
Small wonder I thought it more dignified to retire than to compete； and so
I did。
I need not； however； have cut the threads that bound me to Oxenbridge
with such particularly sharp scissors； nor given them such a vicious snap；
for； so far as I can observe； the little world of which I imagined myself the
sun continues to revolve； and； probably； about some other centre。 I can
well imagine who has taken up that delightful but somewhat exposed and
responsible positionit would be just like her！
I am perfectly happy where I am； it is not that； but it seems so strange
that they can be perfectly happy without me； after all that theyafter all
that was said on the subject not many days ago。 Nothing turns out as one
expects。 There have been no hot pursuits； no rewards offered； no bills
posted； no printed placards issued describing the beauty and charms of a
young person who supposed herself the cynosure of every eye。 Heigh…ho！
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What does it matter； after all？ One can always be a Goose Girl！
* * *
I wonder if the hen mother is quite； quite satisfied with her ducklings！
Do you suppose the fact of hatching and brooding them breaks down all
the sense of difference？ Does she not sometimes reflect that if her
children were the ordinary sort； and not these changelings； she would be
enjoying certain pretty little attentions dear to a mother's heart？ The
chicks would be pecking the food off her broad beak with their tiny ones；
and jumping on her back to slide down her glossy feathers。 They would
be far nicer to cuddle； too； so small and graceful and light； the changelings
are a trifle solid and brawny。 And personally； just as a matter of taste；
would she not prefer wee； round； glancing heads； and pointed beaks；
peeping from under her wings； to these teaspoon…shaped things larger than
her own？ I wonder！
We are training fourteen large young chickens to sit on the perches in
their new house； instead of huddling together on the floor as has been their
habit； because we discover rat…holes under the wire flooring occasionally；
and fear that toes may be bitten。 At nine o'clock Phoebe and I lift the
chickens one by one； and； as it were； glue them to their perches；
squawking。 Three nights have we gone patiently through with this
performance； but they have not learned the lesson。 The ducks and geese
are； however； greatly improved by the application of advanced educational
methods； and the regime of perfect order and system instituted by Me
begins to show results。
There is no more violent splashing and pebbling； racing； chasing；
separating。 The pole； indeed； still has to be produced； but at the first
majestic wave of my hand they scuttle toward the shore。 The geese turn
to the right； cross the rickyard； and go to their pen； the May ducks turn to
the left for their coops； the June ducks follow the hens to the top meadow；
and even the idiot gosling has an inspiration now and then and stumbles
on his own habitation。
Mrs。 Heaven has no reverence for the principles of Comenius；
Pestalozzi； or Herbert Spencer as applied to poultry； and when the ducks
and geese came out of the pond badly the other night and went waddling
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The Diary of a Goose Girl
and tumbling and hissing all over creation； did not approve of my sending
them back into the pond to start afresh。
〃I consider it a great waste of time； of good time； miss；〃 she said； 〃and；
after all； do you consider that educated poultry will be any better eating； or
that it will lay more than one egg a day； miss？〃
I have given the matter some attention； and I fear Mrs。 Heaven is right。
A duck； a goose； or a hen in which I have developed a larger brain；
implanted a sense of duty； or instilled an idea of self…government； is likely；
on the whole； to be leaner； not fatter。 There is nothing like obeying the
voice of conscience for taking the flesh off one's bones； and； speaking of
conscience； Phoebe； whose metaphysics are of the farm farmy； says that
hers 〃felt like a hunlaid hegg for dyes〃 after she had jilted the postman。
As to the eggs； I am sure the birds will go on laying one a day for 'tis
their nature to。 Whether the product of the intelligent； conscious； logical
fowl； will be as rich in quality as that of the uneducated and barbaric bird；
I cannot say； but it ought at least to be equal to the Denmark egg eaten
now by all Londoners； and if； perchance； left uneaten； it is certain to be a
very superior wife and mother。
While we are discussing the subject of educating poultry； I confess that
the case of Cannibal Ann gives me much anxiety。 Twice in her short
career has she been under suspicion of eating her own eggs； but Phoebe
has never succeeded in catching her in flagrante delicto。 That eminent
detective service was reserved for me； and I have been haunted by the
picture ever since。 It is an awful sight to witness a hen gulp her own
newly…laid fresh egg； yolk； white； shell； and all； to realise that you have
fed； sheltered； chased； and occasionally run in； a being possessed of no
moral sense； a being likely to set a bad example； inculcate vicious habits
among her innocent sisters； and lower the standard of an entire poultry…
yard。 The Young Poultry Keeper's Friend gives us no advice on this topic；
and we do not know whether to treat Cannibal Ann as the victim of a
disease； or as a confirmed criminal； whether to administer remedies or cut
her off in the flower of her youth。
We have had a sad scene to…night。 A chick has been ailing all day；
and when we shut up the brood we found him dead in a corner。
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Phoebe put him on the ground while she busied herself about the coop。
The other chicks came out and walked about the dead one again and again；
eyeing him curiously。
〃Poor little chap！〃 said Phoebe。 〃E's never 'ad a mother！