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perches upon my banner； the somebody can be brought to say that he
ought to have done it without my making him； that adds the unforgettable
touch to pleasure； though seldom； alas！ does it happen。 Then ensued the
delightful and stimulating hour that has now become a feature of the day；
an hour in which the remembrance of the table…d'hote dinner at the Hydro；
going on at identically the same time； only stirs me to a keener joy and
gratitude。
The ducks swim round in circles； hide under the willows； and attempt
to creep into the rat…holes in the banks； a stupidity so crass that it merits
instant death； which it somehow always escapes。 Then they come out in
couples and waddle under the wrong fence into the lower meadow； fly
madly under the tool…house； pitch blindly in with the sitting hens； and out
again in short order； all the time quacking and squawking； honking and
hissing like a bewildered orchestra。 By dint of splashing the water with
poles； throwing pebbles； beating the shrubs at the pond's edges； 〃shooing〃
frantically with our skirts； crawling beneath bars to head them off； and
prodding them from under bushes to urge them on； we finally get the older
ones out of the water and the younger ones into some sort of relation to
their various retreats； but； owing to their lack of geography； hatred of
home； and general recalcitrancy； they none of them turn up in the right
place and have to be sorted out。 We uncover the top of the little house； or
the enclosure as it may be； or reach in at the door； and； seizing the
struggling victim； drag him forth and take him where he should have had
the wit to go in the first instance。 The weak ones get in with the strong
and are in danger of being trampled； two May goslings that look almost
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full…grown have run into a house with a brood of ducklings a week old。
There are twenty…seven crowded into one coop； five in another； nineteen in
another； the gosling with one leg has to come out； and the duckling
threatened with the gapes； their place is with the 〃invaleeds；〃 as Phoebe
calls them； but they never learn the location of the hospital； nor have the
slightest scruple about spreading contagious diseases。
Finally； when we have separated and sorted exhaustively； an operation
in which Phoebe shows a delicacy of discrimination and a fearlessness of
attack amounting to genius； we count the entire number and find several
missing。 Searching for their animate or inanimate bodies； we 〃scoop〃
one from under the tool…house； chance upon two more who are being
harried and pecked by the big geese in the lower meadow； and discover
one sailing by himself in solitary splendour in the middle of the deserted
pond； a look of evil triumph in his bead…like eye。 Still we lack one young
duckling； and he at length is found dead by the hedge。 A rat has
evidently seized him and choked him at a single throttle； but in such haste
that he has not had time to carry away the tiny body。
〃Poor think！〃 says Phoebe tearfully； 〃it looks as if it was 'it with some
kind of a wepping。 I don't know whatever to do with the rats； they're
gettin' that fearocious！〃
Before I was admitted into daily contact with the living goose （my
previous intercourse with him having been carried on when gravy and
stuffing obscured his true personality）； I thought him a very Dreyfus
among fowls； a sorely slandered bird； to whom justice had never been
done； for even the gentle Darwin is hard upon him。 My opinion is
undergoing some slight modifications； but I withhold judgment at present；
hoping that some of the follies； faults； vagaries； and limitations that I
observe in Phoebe's geese may be due to Phoebe's educational methods；
which were； before my advent； those of the darkest ages。
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The Diary of a Goose Girl
CHAPTER IV
July 9th。
By the time the ducks and geese are incarcerated for the night； the
reasonable； sensible； practical…minded hensespecially those whose
mentality is increased and whose virtue is heightened by the
responsibilities of motherhoodhave gone into their own particular rat…
proof boxes； where they are waiting in a semi…somnolent state to have the
wire doors closed； the bricks set against them； and the bits of sacking
flung over the tops to keep out the draught。 We have a great many young
families； both ducklings and chicks； but we have no duck mothers at
present。 The variety of bird which Phoebe seems to have bred during the
past year may be called the New Duck； with certain radical ideas about
woman's sphere。 What will happen to Thornycroft if we develop a New
Hen and a New Cow； my imagination fails to conceive。 There does not
seem to be the slightest danger for the moment； however； and our hens lay
and sit and sit and lay as if laying and sitting were the twin purposes of
life。
The nature of the hen seems to broaden with the duties of maternity；
but I think myself that we presume a little upon her amiability and natural
motherliness。 It is one thing to desire a family of one's own； to lay eggs
with that idea in view； to sit upon them three long weeks and hatch out and
bring up a nice brood of chicks。 It must be quite another to have one's
eggs abstracted day by day and eaten by a callous public； the nest filled
with deceitful substitutes； and at the end of a dull and weary period of
hatching to bring into the world another person's children children； too；
of the wrong size； the wrong kind of bills and feet； and； still more subtle
grievance； the wrong kind of instincts； leading them to a dangerous
aquatic career； one which the mother may not enter to guide； guard； and
teach； one on the brink of which she must ever stand； uttering dryshod
warnings which are never heeded。 They grow used to this strange order
of things after a bit； it is true； and are less anxious and excited。 When the
duck… brood returns safely again and again from what the hen…mother
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The Diary of a Goose Girl
thinks will prove a watery grave； she becomes accustomed to the situation；
I suppose。 I find that at night she stands by the pond for what she
considers a decent； self…respecting length of time； calling the ducklings out
of the water； then； if they refuse to come； the mother goes off to bed and
leaves them to Providence； or Phoebe。
The brown hen that we have named Cornelia is the best mother； the
one who waits longest and most patiently for the web…footed Gracchi to
finish their swim。
When a chick is taken out of the incubytor （as Phoebe calls it） and
refused by all the other hens； Cornelia generally accepts it； though she had
t